A brand new year.

Its a new year again, Hello 2011 Goodbye 2010. What happened in 2010 stays there, move forward towards 2011 ! Just that this time, i pretty much wish 2011 never come. I don't want a new year this time, remain 2010 ! i don't mind taking SPM over and over again as long i get to be with you. I thought everything will be fine right after SPM, that's what i thought but nothing went right.

During holidays, didn't went out much. Spend loads of money on cc cause its the only thing fun to do with my friends. Been saving my money for the wrong reason. Most of the time, i spend time with my precious Bed. Everyday, just wake up, have breakfast, if nothing is on tv then i will head upstairs where my bed is. With phone lying beside me, i just lie on the bed for the whole day. And by whole day, i really mean WHOLE DAY ! Lifeless, just lifeless. If i'm lucky, somebody will text me ! If i'm not, then its just some quality time with my Bed. Everyone has been busy with their own family plans, which i'm kinda jealous cause my parents' never want to leave the house. They rather stay at home and do nothing, and yet they say they are busy all the time. So, December is obviously a bad month and i didn't had an awesome Christmas ! What a waste -.-

So, January came not long after. Stuff gotten worse. Everyone has planned what they want to study and all and i still spending my precious time with my Bed everyday. My parents' keep asking me what i want to study and all i have in mind is NOTHING ! i can't make up my mind and actually, i don't have anything in mind. Well, the worse gotten worse day by day. I got so bored that i really had a thought of jumping off from the roof of my house. Although i know i won't die, but i regain my senses telling myself i might actually die even though it's just two stories high. Another thing is, why do Intakes for college exist for January ! i didn't spend enough time with you also. I've been thinking of this shit everyday and God damn it that the Day is getting closer. I know i can't stop the time, but i still can wish and wish that my wish comes true. I'm happy for you but at the same time, worry about what shit might happen. You can tell me "Everything will work out just fine" but that's not gonna make me stop worrying, thinking. And starting from tomorrow, we will text even lesser ! when i start my part-time. I told myself i need this job to get my mind off stuff, but i don't think it will work.

Life is just hard, i know everything happens for a reason, but i just can't accept what's gonna happen ! I don't dare to imagine what's next. SAM has an A for Australia ? Of course i'm hoping for the best for you, sincerely.

And i'll be honest, i never trusted distance relationship will ever work out .