Without Me.

(:

Y U NO Stay Put ?!

Been spending a lot lately and by a lot, i really mean A LOT ! In this month alone, i think i've used RM500 in total, maybe more. It feels like my money is flying away by its own ! Don't know what i spent on also. The only thing i bought was a speaker, which only cost me about RM30 and i don't recall buying anything else. Guess, that means food and parties. I've been eating a lot too lately, i don't know why but i just have that huge appetite. Never ate so much ever since 14 years old and i've put on weight and all. Very depressing ! If i control eating, i might solve and financial problems and my weight problems. Heheheheheh ! My the strength be with me.

What's next is assignments ! All coming in at the same time and due at the same time also ! In between, we have tutorials and presentations and all. I don't know how to handle this Semester and it's already week 5. Another 9 more weeks then Finals and honestly, i haven't started studying yet. Assignments haven't start yet, not even a draft. Taking things very easy this semester and beginning to regret ! Wasted so much time sleeping and playing but one thing i won't regret is when i'm partying ! I will never regret partying because it was worth my time and fun !

Signing off ! (:

Missing Piece .

" There's a missing beat,

Inside of me,

The rhythm of my Heart,

Hits unevenly,

There's a missing piece,

Inside of me, "

- David Choi (:

Long lost Missing piece.

After so long, after so many months, i still failed to forget you. Still can't get you out from my Life. After so long, i still missed you on random days. I tried going with the flow, but looks like it's going no where. I just can't forget you, it is much much harder than i thought it would be. You've became a part too deep of my Life, that when you left, a big part of my Life just disappeared in a snap. But, this isn't the worst part.

What's worst is watching you got over me already, knowing you got over me, feeling we're not even attached any more. It's like we've became Strangers. Yes, we do chat sometimes but it was just strangers-like chat. Those kind like to check on each other about how's life had been going and all. It's just so sad, depressing.

Every time we chatted, there's this urge in me to tell you " I miss you ", there's this urge in me to ask you " Can you please forgive me for all that i've done ? ", there's this urge in me to ask " Can we get back together ? ", there's this urge in me to say to you " I LOVE YOU ! ". There so many things i wish to tell you and with all my Heart, i really wish we could go back to the time when our Love is strong.

Every time when i see you update or post something on social networks, i will just automatically click into your profile. Just to check how's your Life had been going. Sometimes when i thought of you on random days, i would just look at our picture together. Although we didn't take much picture together, what i have with me is enough to keep me thinking about you for hours, sometimes day. Reminiscing our past, our times together, sweet and bitter or bitter-sweet moments too.

But then again, it seems like you're much happier now, worry-free, get to do things you like and you smile all the time. You're joyful and happy ! I'm glad that you're happy and living your Life the way you wanted to.

Maybe breaking-up was the right decision for you, and i'm little glad that i didn't went against it. At least one of us is happy. Hopefully your next will be better than me, much better. The one who can really understands you. Hopefully, when that day comes, i've already got over you, got over us.

I really do miss you, right now. Yesterday, today and tomorrow, J.

One person being happy

is better than no on is.

I love you, still.

Eclipse.

Things like this, an Eclipse, don't happen all the time. It beautiful and harmful. We are told that if we look directly into an Eclipse, we will go blind. Such beauty come with such harmful effect. We are not allowed to look at such beauty directly. What a waste.

Cheers (:

Happy .

Had a great Saturday past weekend. Firstly, i got the sleep i need ! I slept for like 12 hours or so. Then Dad wasn't at home, he went Singapore with his sisters, my aunties. I was home alone with mum and sis. Went to Carefour in the afternoon to have brunch then went shopping for some groceries. While they shop for groceries, i bought a speaker for myself. Finally, a portable speaker for RM30. Before going home, we bought Subway that was supposed to be our dinner but end up we kept it for supper because we're all still full from brunch.

Then at night, went out with classmates and a friend's sister. It was an unexpected drinking night, wasn't planned at all. Suddenly someone suggested beer, suddenly we ordered beer, suddenly a bucket came and suddenly we all started drinking ! Although i didn't had much, but it was a happy night. Chat and jokes and people singing good songs. Funny part is watching your friends who doesn't drink much get high at her second or third cup of beer. I call this night An Unexpected Drinking Night !

And look at this cute little God's creation. How can such cute creation of God exist ?! Wish to see her soon but by the time i see her again, i'm sure she'll be walking. Her name is Lynn Sze. *hearts* I'm a sucker for cute babies. Aww.

Cheers (:

Complicated.

I'm gonna keep this a short one. Not to say i don't like being a relationship or i prefer being single because both have their pros and cons. As i'm single now, although i'm enjoying life, i still miss my life when i'm in a relationship. Those times when you got a loved one to hug, to kiss, to date, to chat, to hang out with and importantly, to spend time with. I really do miss hugging a loved one, as in girlfriend and boyfriend. I don't know why, it just feels good. Makes me feel loved, and not just by my parents but some one out there too. But in relationship, there are too many things to care and worried about. Jealousy, monetary, lifestyle, who you hang out with, who you talk with, can't flirt around. Almost close to being tied up on a chair. Relationship without these things just isn't an ordinary relationship.

Being single in the other hand is just living the life it is supposed to be. Carefree, can't flirt around without worrying anyone getting jealous, don't have to choose among friends, no problem making friends with girls and all. But there are times when being single, you'll get this jealous like feeling when you see couples around you. It reminds you the good times you had with your ex and all and it tempts you to be in a relationship again. This is what i'm facing and i'm trying to fight it. Sometimes, it's hard and i have to force myself to think about the cons in being in a relationship.

To a certain person, is not that you're not right for me, maybe i'm just not ready yet and worried that you might regret choosing me.

Single doesn't mean lonely,

Love doesn't me Happiness.

Friendzone.

I do agree with this statement very much. I'm not saying that i'm one of the nice guys cause somehow, i know i'm not. But, i have friends that runts about " Where are all the good guys at ? " . And i'll reply them " All around you ". Which is true. You won't know whether a guy is good or not until you get to know him. Just by judging by his look doesn't prove anything. Just because he smokes and drinks doesn't mean he's a bad guy. Maybe he's a social smoker and drinker ? Just because he has a punk hairstyle doesn't mean he's a punk and just because he have tattoos doesn't mean he's a bad star. It is just isn't fair to judge a book by its cover.

Ladies go for jerks instead of gentlemen. Not all, but i can say majority of it. Ladies friend zone the nice guys because nice guys treat them good, cares for them, etc ... and ladies take them as good friend. But choose muscular, douchebag, rich, playboy, etc ... to be their boyfriend. What happen to the world ? Looks seems to become so important until people judge a person by it.

I've nothing much to say about this, but sometimes, Ladies, take a look at the guys around you who really cared about you, always there for you and treats you like a princess. Or else, don't runt about the existence of " nice guys ".

The best are never far,

Look at those you never thought of before.

Just simply look around (:

Love Yourself.

To love a person correctly, you must firstly learn to love yourself correctly. If you can't love yourself right, how are you gonna love other right ? I'm not talking about loving your mum or dad here, i'm talking about having a girlfriend/boyfriend and loving them right. Loving a person is easy, simple, but the thing is loving them right. You can say " I love you " but not doing any commitment which to me is totally irresponsible. You can confess your love for somebody in the sweetest way, but it would not last if you don't love them right.

What i meant about loving a person right is not kissing them every second of the day, hugging like there's no tomorrow and obviously, not sex. Loving a person right is when you love a person so much that it's impossible for you to fall in love with Megan Fox even if she confess her love to you or when Captain America confess his love for you. Loving a person right is respecting each other's opinion, knowing the good and bad of each other and still decide to accept each other's way of lifestyle. Loving a person right is loving him or her without requiring them to change for you in matter of looks, dressing. There are many ways to love a person right.

How are you going to love a person right when you can't even love yourself ? Can you accept your good and bad ? Do you accept the way you are right now ? To me, this is the two main things to love yourself. Accepting yourself for who you are is the main point. Living happily with your strength and weakness and be confident with your strength and weakness.

In my opinion, many relationships don't last long is because of the failure in loving your loved ones right. At least mine are like that. Most of my relationship ends is because i have no confident on my strength and weaknesses such as in sense of looks and wealth and health. I look down on myself fairly much, telling myself i have no chance against other guys and therefore, i plan to end my relationship so that i won't get hurt when my girlfriend find another guy. Besides, i, most of the time, not always, love a person more than i love myself. I made myself sad to keep her happy, i suffer isolation by friends to spend more time on her, i think about her more than myself and at one point, all i want is to see her next to me every morning and i'll be happy when the correct thing to think is to be happy everyday because i get to wake up still on my bed. My point is i failed to love myself the way i should.

Today, i think back about those stupid and pathetic things i've did, i regretted. Ending a relationship just because i'm worry of losing and getting hurt. I should have had confidence in myself and stay strong in the relationship cause now i realised that there are always people who are better than you. Then i guess looking down at my self frequently is the stupidest things ever. I'm sure God made me this way for a reason, and if only that time i thought this way, bad relationships wouldn't had happened.

Furthermore, i gave up too much, i love another person more than myself. But now i know, we can love no one more than ourselves. The maximum you can love a person is as much as you love yourself. There's no point in making yourself sad just to keep the opposite happy. To love yourself, keep yourself happy always. Do things that make yourself happy. Everything we do should be a win-win situation, mutual benefits. Make time for yourself and your love ones. That way, both of your can be happy and importantly, sleep with a hope of seeing yourself still on your own bed, in your own home everyday. It means that you survived another and given the chance to live on.

It's not hard to love yourself because as long as you're happy, it means you're doing it right. Weaknesses and strengths proves that no one is perfect and always bear in mind that there are people who are better than you somewhere out there. This creates motivation for you to do better in whatever you do everyday. As hard as being optimistic is, i think is a very important thing to keep yourself happy. Make the best out of the worst and make the best out of the best.

Love yourself to love another (:

Cheers (:

Encore !

Today, went watch The Avengers again for the second time and it's still awesome ! This time went watch with my secondary school friends. It has been a long time since we last met and gather. It's good seeing them again, and knowing they all doing great in whatever they're doing. We are The Legends of Laughter. We can laugh and laugh till we lost our voices and still continue laughing, making silly jokes.

I remember those secondary school days when we make people laugh till the roll on the floor, laugh till their stomachache. Laughing is just our everyday routine. If we don't laugh one day, it means we're sick or something.

We went cyber cafe, play games together, making " you don't say " jokes, " bitch high as fuck " jokes and other 9gag jokes ! We're a bunch of extreme 9gagger. Ahh, had so much fun today and i'm just home ! 4.20am currently.

Signing off.

Cheers (: