Shits.

Things had been okay these days. Working and spending time with friends really keeps my mind off stuff. Stuff that i don't want to think about. Now every day i spend 6 hours or more in Pavilion's Wong Kok Restaurant. By the time i reach home, its already 9pm and occasionally 11pm plus also. I don't like going home early is because i'll just end up on bed and start thinking all over again. Sometimes i even ask question and i answer it myself. I thank God for a friend i had. He's so far is there when ever i need somebody to talk to. Although sometimes he doesn't understand how i feel, but he's a person i can trust to tell him my problems or worries or what i'm thinking. And again, he won't ALWAYS be with me, at some time we will be distance apart, chasing our goals. No blames to anyone, its normal for some one to chase their goals in life.

So i've been told that i'm in a mess most of the time, except for when i'm with you. I don't really want to believe its true, but it is. Its hard for me to cope what is going to happen. People tell me "Things will go on just very fine, it'll be over before you know it", but that is just what they say. I find it hard. I'm not used to every shit thing that is happening now, i need you with me. Saying that i'm fine is easy, but most of the time is all lies. As long as you're not with me, i'm not fine at all. Stuff isn't going very well and its just January. I feel i'm back in Form 5 life all over again, except for the not seeing you every day. Less texting, less outing, less EVERY THING. and again, no blames on anyone on this also. I'm just complaining, i can't find the right word.

That feeling makes me miss Form 5 again. I wouldn't mind taking SPM all over again, as long as we're all together again. As in you, me and all my friends. School time are just great. Slack, study, date. Time when we friends are actually very close. Not like now, every one is missing in action. Only a few is still around. What i miss most is the overnights we had together ! at cc or at house, both also i miss. The fun and joy, i can't have it now already. Everyone went like, a sudden mature in thinking, not wanting all these childish stuff anymore. Well, people change. People as in everyone including myself.

There's a thing about me though, i love talking about what i did last time. It some how never fail to put a smile on my face. You know, when you remember those dumb things you did before, those silly things you've said, your embarrassing moments, all the mess you ever created. I laugh to myself. But memories of 17 years isn't that much, mostly is just regrets and mistakes. But one thing for sure is, even if there's regrets and mistakes, i enjoy my life so far. Even if i'm in a mess ! I hate life, i love life, i hate life, i love life. Overall, i still love life Experience i've gain in everything i ever do, knowing what to do and what not to do, learning from mistakes. There's one thing i didn't regret ever, its each and every part of my love life. Maybe there's one that i regretted.